I have a confession

I don't like when people dislike me.  I'm one of "those" people.  Not to say that I'm one of those instantly likable people.  I'm like asparagus...I grow on you :)  I make friends best at places that the same people have to go to over a period of time...like soccer games, school, playgroups.  I don't make friends with the neighbors, or the people in line at Target.  They also don't hate me though, so I can't say that particularly bothers me.

Yesterday someone very close to me said that I am the person who thinks that everyone in the world should be able to get together in one room and get along.  And then last night I had a dream that I was in a room with Kim Jong Il, Osama Bin Ladin, and Mugabe - the guy from Africa.  We got along fine, but I think it helped that Kim Jong Il was the puppet from Team America: World Police.

When I know there is discord for misunderstood reasons it makes me want to fix it.  I get this insane urge to make it right.  I've learned in the past that isn't always possible.  I remember high school!!  Even rumors among best friends could tear people apart.

And the funny thing about apologies is that people rarely mean them.  So often I hear someone tell their kid to apologize.  Yeah, I've done it before, too.  But then you have to wonder what the point is.  How easy is it to say "sorry".  If there isn't any meaning behind it though it's...well meaningless.  Recently I've spent a lot of time trying to prompt my son to apologize without directly asking.  It's tough.  He's 4 and doesn't really get empathy.  I hope one day he understands was a true apology is and then learns how to appropriately use them.  I think it's funny when people demand an apology when someone does something wrong.  What does that show?  The person is trying to ease the tension by apologizing, but chances are they're not actually sorry.

So this has made me come to the realization that I could never be a celebrity.  I would absolutely lose my mind and within 6 months I would be shaving my head like Britney.  I would never apologize for a simple misunderstanding and the people would be angry...which would drive me crazy!!  And forget about politics.  I think hate is a requirement to be in the political world and I'm not aggressive enough to cut it.  I was the girl in basketball who felt bad for the other team and would start playing worse almost intentionally!

Thankfully my heart was never set on being famous :)